More than Words

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There are 3 levels of any sort of development in the mind of Buddhism: Recognition, Familiarity, and Ease.

Sometimes you offer people lots of peace and freedom no from the problems of life but they don't take it, they prefer living with their problems. Many times I've counseled people struggling with grief the loss of a loved one and they cannot sort of overcome that simply because they don't want to let go of their grief. Sometimes they have problems in a marriage and I give them great solution which work for other people but they don't do it because they don't want to let go of the problems in the marriage. It could be sabotage, it could be lack of self-esteem, or have people with addictions and I just give them great ideas of how to overcome they won't do that because they don't want to. They're afraid.

It's a simile of the person—the prisoner being in jail. Tomorrow, they're going to end their sentence and they can walk out a free person and they don't want to. They're afraid of what they don't feel comfortable with. They've got used to jail. They've got used to being in prison. They've got used to being angry—it's one of the biggest difficulties.

So what we do is learn how to recognize what the opposite is freedom, just have day release from prison. Just have a little bit of meditation to feel what it's like not to get angry. Have a little bit of relaxation somewhere even it's massage or yoga, just so you can recognize what it's like to be peaceful. And then after a while, you get used to that familiar to it and at ease with it which means you can actually accept that into your life. And it means you can be a peaceful person.

You don't have to rush around—so fast in life. What are we rushing around for don't know what we're searching for why we're doing so much in this world. And unfortunately it is a crazy world. Why, what do you need? How much do you really need? Now what we're really rushing around for is against that peace and that happiness that joy in their love. What do you really want?

And the lovely thing to notice is that when you start slowing down in life or just take pauses moments in life. Then, all that peace, that beauty that happiness which know why we work so hard for, why we try and get a job, why we try and get a family, all those things which we strive for, work so hard for, when you slow down and stop you see you have it already. You just slow down and you see as much beauty and happiness as you could ever want but it takes a lot of courage to slow down and stop.

From Ajahn Brahm's Dhamma Talk "Develop Your Heart"